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Screaming through the Ether
13 May 2010 @ 01:40 pm
We bought a house this year.  We now live against a hill that is almost completely undeveloped.  This means that we have "wildlife" invading our back porch on a pretty regular basis.  For those that grew up where I did, this is not anything particularly new or interesting.  For both my son and wife, however, this is terrifying.  My son has a deep rooted fear of all reptiles.  My wife has the same level of terror related to Spiders.  Today, Maxwell saw a garter snake in our neighbors driveway.  Now he won't stay in the house at all.  It will be a couple of hours before he calms down. 
Screaming through the Ether
01 April 2009 @ 04:39 pm

Maxwell, my son, loves books. Every night I have to cut him off at 5 books or I end up spending over an hour trying to get him to go to bed. One night I was reading him his then-favorite story: "World of Cars". As I hit the three quarter mark in one of the stories, I noticed a spot of dried blood on the page. I asked Max if he had an "owie" and he told me that he didn't. I shrugged and turned the page. There was a larger spot of blood. I turned the page again, this time having to peel it from the next one. A smear of blood, this time. The next page was had even more. By the last page, I couldn't even separate them. Horrified, I turned to Maxwell and asked him if he had cut himself. "No" he replied. I looked at his hands and, sure enough, there was a healing paper cut on his thumb, and a nasty one at that.

My son has a ridiculously high threshold of pain. What had happened was that he gave himself the papercut while reading the book to himself and couldn't be bothered to tell anyone about it. When the blood dripped on the pages, he just wiped it, causing it to smear. After he was done, he put the book back on the shelf. Later on he ran into his mother who noticed the bloody hand. She looked everywhere for signs of where he had injured himself and found nothing. She cleaned it up, put a bandaid on it, and didn't think about it again.

Man, what a weird night that was. Imagine reading a bedtime story to your kid and having the book get bloodier by the page! Macabre.

Screaming through the Ether
As Maxwell gets older, things get funnier.  I love watching him try to acclimate to our world.  You really get to see the learning process in action. 
I have started a "Toddler Tales" whiteboard on my door at work.  Most of these tales end up in abbreviated format there.  Here's where I'm typing out the full stories.

Here are a couple:

"The Cupcake Incident"

I took Maxwell to the park a couple of weekends ago.  While we were there he noticed a birthday party going on.  He bolted over there and got himself lost in the middle of a pack of kids.  By the time I got there, someone was handing him a birthday cupcake.  I managed to get there in enough time to stop the process.  Apologetically, I explained that he wasn't involved with the party, nor did he know anyone whose birthday it may or may not have been.  Little boy was mad that he didn't get a cupcake.  To quote one of my students:  "You cake-blocked him, man."

"Don't put the cat's head in your mouth"
Yesterday we let Maxwell play in the backyard by himself.  We stayed in the house talking and keeping an eye on him through the glass door.  Max was playing with our cat when my wife said "If he keeps playing rough with her, she's going to take a swipe at him".  I'm of a mind that this is a lesson well learned, so I let him continue playing.  Sure enough, right after I said as much, he pushed the cat a little too far.  I saw the cat lash out at him.  Maxwell dropped the cat, stood up, yelled and shook his fist at her.  Then he came running towards us, tears streaming down his face.  "Mommy, Daddy!  The cat hit me!!"

Luckily, the cat knows well enough to retract her claws with him.  Thank goodness for small favors.

"M I C"  "K E Y"
Maxwell has really taken a shine to the Mickey Mouse Club show on the Disney Channel.  I found a Minnie Mouse doll that belonged to my wife in Maxwell's closet, so I got it down for him to play with.  In the time he's had it (roughly a week)  He's undressed her and put her in a diaper and is now pottie training her.  He carries her with him throughout the house and watches TV with  her.  The wedding is next week.

"Time Out"

I can tell the "time out" technique is working.  I caught Maxwell playing with his cars and giving them "time outs" the other day.

Current Mood: amusedamused
Screaming through the Ether
04 February 2009 @ 01:57 pm
Maxwell was helping me build his new toddler bed when he cut his toe.  It was bleeding all over, so I washed it off and put a Cars© bandage on it.  Maxwell wanted another one, but I told him "No, you already have one.".

Thinking on this, he got up and walked back into the room.  He kicked a ceramic elephant we have and said "Daddy! Owie!  Need Bandaid!".  

That's my boy.  Working the system at 2.
Screaming through the Ether
02 February 2009 @ 09:36 pm
Two days ago we dismantled the crib and put Maxwell's mattress on the floor.  Thanks to grandma and grandpa he's got a brand new bed on the way and we thought we'd get ready.  I was worried that he would not know what to do with all the new-found freedom afforded him by the lack of bars.  Well, it's 9:41pm and he's in the living room with mommy, watching TV.

I put him down around 8:20 after reading a few books and he looked like he was going to sleep right away.  I closed the door and walked back into the living room.  I told my wife "Wow, he really went down easy!  I'm surprised he's not out here trying to stay awake.".

2 minutes later he comes sauntering into the living room.  If you've never seen my kid saunter, it's a trip.  The hips swing and it looks amazingly cool. I told him "Max!  It's night-night!  You need to be in bed!"

He replies "It's time to wake up, Daddy.  I've got to dance."

After I finished laughing I put him back down.  

Lather, rinse, repeat.

I gave up at 9:40.  He's in my wife's hands, now.
Screaming through the Ether
20 January 2009 @ 09:03 pm
Last night is one for the record books.  Not the inauguration, that was today. I am still elated by that.  Last night, on the other hand, was when I realized how much work a toddler can be.  In the space of two hours, Maxwell had drawn all over his legs and his potty chair with marker, peed on the couch and the carpet twice, and drank some (thankfully non-toxic) cleaning solution my wife had set down moments before.  Then he wiped his mouth with a bleach pad.  

It was a good thing my hair was already white.  I swear, just be thankful I didn't tell you about the other 10 hours of wakefulness.
Screaming through the Ether
06 November 2008 @ 11:08 am
Another round of diverticulitis this week.  I avoided being hospitalized, at least.  The antibiotics the doctor  gave me after my last hospitalization had one refill, so I started up the moment the pain got bad.  That seemed to keep it under control.  I should be fully healed in about a week or so.

In other news:  My son peed in his potty for the first time today!  Hooray!  Now he's running around the house shouting "OBAMA!!!  OBAMA!!!"   (his mom and I taught him that one.  Grandma was pleased)
Screaming through the Ether
18 September 2008 @ 09:52 pm
I'm flying down to Los Angeles tomorrow to attend my Grandmother's funeral.  It's weird seeing that in print.  It was not unexpected. She had pretty advanced alzheimers and had been bed-ridden for the last few months.  She stopped eating a week ago.
Screaming through the Ether
05 September 2008 @ 12:25 pm
Maxwell (My Son) has a habit of waking up at around 1:30 or so declaring at the top of his lungs that he "Want Meelk!!"  This is a front. Really he just wants to jump in bed with us.  Being the suckers that we are, we aquiesce so that we don't have to put up with an hour of crying before we give in anyways. 

This is all fine and good except that he has started having nightmares.Collapse )
Current Mood: tiredtired
Screaming through the Ether
05 August 2008 @ 02:42 pm
Maxwell spoke his first four word intelligible sentence last night.