Maxwell, my son, loves books. Every night I have to cut him off at 5 books or I end up spending over an hour trying to get him to go to bed. One night I was reading him his then-favorite story: "World of Cars". As I hit the three quarter mark in one of the stories, I noticed a spot of dried blood on the page. I asked Max if he had an "owie" and he told me that he didn't. I shrugged and turned the page. There was a larger spot of blood. I turned the page again, this time having to peel it from the next one. A smear of blood, this time. The next page was had even more. By the last page, I couldn't even separate them. Horrified, I turned to Maxwell and asked him if he had cut himself. "No" he replied. I looked at his hands and, sure enough, there was a healing paper cut on his thumb, and a nasty one at that.
My son has a ridiculously high threshold of pain. What had happened was that he gave himself the papercut while reading the book to himself and couldn't be bothered to tell anyone about it. When the blood dripped on the pages, he just wiped it, causing it to smear. After he was done, he put the book back on the shelf. Later on he ran into his mother who noticed the bloody hand. She looked everywhere for signs of where he had injured himself and found nothing. She cleaned it up, put a bandaid on it, and didn't think about it again.
Man, what a weird night that was. Imagine reading a bedtime story to your kid and having the book get bloodier by the page! Macabre.
I have started a "Toddler Tales" whiteboard on my door at work. Most of these tales end up in abbreviated format there. Here's where I'm typing out the full stories.
Here are a couple:
"The Cupcake Incident"
I took Maxwell to the park a couple of weekends ago. While we were there he noticed a birthday party going on. He bolted over there and got himself lost in the middle of a pack of kids. By the time I got there, someone was handing him a birthday cupcake. I managed to get there in enough time to stop the process. Apologetically, I explained that he wasn't involved with the party, nor did he know anyone whose birthday it may or may not have been. Little boy was mad that he didn't get a cupcake. To quote one of my students: "You cake-blocked him, man."
"Don't put the cat's head in your mouth"
Yesterday we let Maxwell play in the backyard by himself. We stayed in the house talking and keeping an eye on him through the glass door. Max was playing with our cat when my wife said "If he keeps playing rough with her, she's going to take a swipe at him". I'm of a mind that this is a lesson well learned, so I let him continue playing. Sure enough, right after I said as much, he pushed the cat a little too far. I saw the cat lash out at him. Maxwell dropped the cat, stood up, yelled and shook his fist at her. Then he came running towards us, tears streaming down his face. "Mommy, Daddy! The cat hit me!!"
Luckily, the cat knows well enough to retract her claws with him. Thank goodness for small favors.
"M I C" "K E Y"
Maxwell has really taken a shine to the Mickey Mouse Club show on the Disney Channel. I found a Minnie Mouse doll that belonged to my wife in Maxwell's closet, so I got it down for him to play with. In the time he's had it (roughly a week) He's undressed her and put her in a diaper and is now pottie training her. He carries her with him throughout the house and watches TV with her. The wedding is next week.
I can tell the "time out" technique is working. I caught Maxwell playing with his cars and giving them "time outs" the other day.
Thinking on this, he got up and walked back into the room. He kicked a ceramic elephant we have and said "Daddy! Owie! Need Bandaid!".
That's my boy. Working the system at 2.
I put him down around 8:20 after reading a few books and he looked like he was going to sleep right away. I closed the door and walked back into the living room. I told my wife "Wow, he really went down easy! I'm surprised he's not out here trying to stay awake.".
2 minutes later he comes sauntering into the living room. If you've never seen my kid saunter, it's a trip. The hips swing and it looks amazingly cool. I told him "Max! It's night-night! You need to be in bed!"
He replies "It's time to wake up, Daddy. I've got to dance."
After I finished laughing I put him back down.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
I gave up at 9:40. He's in my wife's hands, now.
It was a good thing my hair was already white. I swear, just be thankful I didn't tell you about the other 10 hours of wakefulness.
In other news: My son peed in his potty for the first time today! Hooray! Now he's running around the house shouting "OBAMA!!! OBAMA!!!" (his mom and I taught him that one. Grandma was pleased)
( This is all fine and good except that he has started having nightmares.Collapse )